The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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