Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
