You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
