do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
