there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
