Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
