Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
