you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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