I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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