I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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