What a fucking waste of an outfit
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
