How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
