I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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