I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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