Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
