I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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