Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
did i walk over a car last night?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
