I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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