just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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