I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
