The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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