i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
