I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
BRING THE BAGELS
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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