I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize