So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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