Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
