Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
