and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
it glows. i had to have it.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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