I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
