drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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