So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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