Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
