i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
