I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
