I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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