oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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