Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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