I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I look better un-naked...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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