Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Me too!
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
