trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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