What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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