You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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