Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
