We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
