You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
