I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
