youre lurking in front of me
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
