Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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