Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize