if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
