I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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