We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
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You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
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Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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