I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
