She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
