I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
